A bullet to my clit.

Phallic objects are my life. I see something that looks like a penis and immediately my mood shifts from being glum to a fat kid inside Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory. I don’t know, I was built this way and people close to me are aware of that. It’s like a beacon of hope. I could be stuck on an island and a dildo would be brought to shore by the waves and I’d be fine living there for the rest of my life. Wouldn’t that be perfect? The beach, myself, coconut trees and a dildo. I’d be sipping from my coconut shell while I’m grinding on a dildo? No asshole I need to worry about.

Naturally, I’m somebody who’s into collecting anything phallic. I had my first vibrator when I was eleven. It was an electrical hand massage. I didn’t know it was a vibrator then, but I was a very curious child, it was bound to be placed on my vagina. My second vibrator was this AVON vibrating hairbrush I ordered from our maid when I was in highshool. I wonder if the product still exists today, it was pretty magical. My third vibrator was a pulsar Oral-B toothbrush, the tip pulsates like a fucking maniac, great for concentrating the vibrations in just one spot, I remember giving my best friend one for her own and told her to use it on her clit, not on her teeth.

The very first legit vibrator I purchased was from Condom Revolution (www.conrev.com) It was this remote-controlled black, bullet vibrator at $6.00. I know right? Cheap as fuck! It was great while it lasted, but the problem with it was I used it too much that towards the end of it’s demise, it began heating up. I threw it away before it could blow up my vagina. Not the way I wanted to go. I want to keep my gorgeous cunt intact when I die, just in case the ferryman has a cloaked, humongous cock.

I don’t usually buy my sex toys physically, almost always online, because it’s cheaper by some thousands and hundreds, but I get that these shops have to bump the cost higher because of tax and shit compared to Condom Revolution where anal beads and lubes are half the price. I was pretty hesitant, because I already knew it wouldn’t be practical but I went in anyway and instantly… I felt emancipated. The hooker in me came out.








They have such a plethora of vaginal and penile things! The prices weren’t too ridiculous too! They have an array of bullet vibrators, each in every color. I wasn’t particularly looking for a dildo, I was looking for a vibrator because I already live with a penis at the ready and already have two dildos.









I scanned all the cunt candy and this caught my eye!



I knooooooooow! Cute right? At only P1,000! Can you imagine? P1,000 for an endless clit-buzzing? It would be like having my clit licked, non-stop! And I don’t even have to worry about somebody else’s pleasure. Don’t get me wrong, I love being fucked and sucking on a cock, nothing makes me feel more elated, but sometimes, a slut has to do what a slut needs to do when she’s stressed and alone. There’s just something about being alone and pleasuring myself until my clit grows numb. I’m the type of person who’d rather masturbate than chit-chat with friends. Like if they wanna see me, I’d have to contemplate whether or not I’d stay in and just ring my doorbell. They rarely see me because I’d rather the latter, obviously.

Oh! And this little baby is battery-powered. The batteries are also sold at the shop at P2.50 each! I bought 30, because, well. Obviously.



Also, it is made out of silicon, so the tip isn’t as edged and hard, perfect like a man’s tongue, God, this shit feels good. I can’t even stress enough how you should get yourself a bullet vibrator, it’s life-changing! It's like taking control of your own life. Dildo’s are awesome, but bullet vibrators are what you need. They’re small but powerful!

I get home and immediately tried it. Maygaaaaaad! I came within 20 seconds, i'm not even kidding. I came again and again and again! And what's so great about it is when my boyfriend is fucking me, I can have it pressed down on my clit and wouldnt hinder anything from touching, like how other eggplant-long vibrators do. It's just like rubbing my clit without the carpal tunnel! I've had bullet vibrators before but not as much power as this one holds. I'm so stoked! You should get it! Imagine the possibilities with this one, it’s easy to hide, very handy. You could be in a bank, waiting in line and nobody would know why something keeps buzzing, they can assume it's your ringin phone and youre ignoring it. OR! You could be watching a movie at the theatres and be buzzing at the same time! Talk about time management and multitasking! God, I love this! I keep mine in my bag, for emergencies, it’s cheap, handy and it’s goddamn powerful! Ten tongues licking-powerful! I didn't get paid to advertise this, so that fact is enough for you to buy it, because I don't do anything for free, except for blowjobs.


Sex Away!