Flowers for Blow-jobs

My boyfriend only gives me flowers twice a year. For Valentine's Day and Anniversaries. To a man that seems normal. Well fuck you! You're a not a girl, how the fuck do you know how much flowers are enough? You can never give women enough flowers! 

I'm a fucking slut and I certainly don't look like the type of woman you'd introduce to your parents, and there are many women who look like me and are like me, in all honesty, I prefer to be given money and box of chocolates or maybe a new vibrator or a box of cupcakes even just a box of pizza, but when I'm given flowers, my virgin alter-ego comes out. Even a hooker would love to be given flowers. Do you get my point? If she says she doesn't like flowers, she's bullshiting, she's just trying to be different, but deep inside, she fucking loves it! 

Blow jobs to men are like flowers. Flowers are like blow jobs to women. This is how it works... 

Flowers are the key to a woman's mouth and vagina. I fucking swear to you. Give a girl flowers, she'll be spreading her legs to you like nutella on a piece of bread IMMEDIATELY! Well, maybe just me and a few other sluts. But Flowers, we like receiving flowers because they are pretty and make us feel pretty. Why do you think we keep showing them off on Instagram? It's really an assurance to the people around us and to ourselves that we're special. 

When you give us flowers our instant thoughts are to give you something back because the effort you had put in into buying the flowers, spending for it, actually going to a flower shop despite you looking like a complete wuss, is a huge deal to us. What straight man would take the time to buy and carry flowers? Men don't like giving flowers because they don't think it matters, or because they think they're investing enough on the relationship, so what are flowers compared to the dinners they paid for, the lunch, the bags, the dresses, the movie tickets, the sex they give, the oral sex they give? You're supposed to fucking pay for them idiot! Why do you think we like boyfriends but prefer to hang out with our girl friends? It's expected!  It's to help us save money and free sex any time we ask! But flowers? They're romantic because they have been always depicted in the movies as a sign of devotion and adoration. Usually the pretty girls in the movies receive flowers. It's really their fault. So in reality, we want to be that girl in the movie too!

Women are very reciprocating because we are natural givers. We give and give and give even as there's nothing left. So when you give us flowers, we only think o f one thing to repay the romance. And what is more romantic to a man than a porn star blow job? It's what you always ask from us every fucking time and it's sure to be something that would make you happy. So in return for flowers, we give blow jobs. It's been proven and tested. 

I give my boyfriend blow-jobs every fucking day. Sometimes twice even more when he's been good to me. I skip sucking on his cock when he's an asshole to me and im feeling bitchy but end up sucking on his cock by the end of the night to patch things. Women: If he's mad at you, suck on his cock, he'll forgive you right away. See? When men infuriate us, they give us nice, sweet things to apologize, and we take them. When women infuriate men, we give them blow-jobs and cater our vagina, and they take them. Problem solved. 

But when my boyfriend gives me flowers, I go all out on the blow-job. I suck on his cock like he's about to die any minute and they only way to bring him back to his full strength and life is to make his cock so hard, and I mean really hard and suck on his cock like there's no tomorrow. Tongue-flicking motion, head contortion, twisting and deep fucking throating until the back of my throat inflames. Lick on parts of his flesh where the sun never shines, prod my tongue on his asshole and nipples like they're scoops of Ben and Jerry's Cherry fucking Garcia, I put anything of his in my mouth and swallow his balls like a glass of water on a hot summer day, I worship his cock and thru this I show him how much I appreciate him and how much I love him. I suck on his cock like ten porn stars are sucking on them and I tell him how much I fucking love it and I don't stop until I get a taste of his sweet, slimy, thick nectar his balls brew all the while and I swallow and lick and taste it like it's a serum for immortality. Full-blown entertainment and satisfaction. This is what flowers can do. 

Try it on your woman. Buy her flowers, usually they cost around P5OO-P2OOO that's about two-three dinner dates and movies, but we'd gladly skip dinners for flowers any time of day. Give her flowers, if she doesn't suck on your cock within the next twenty-four hours, come to me and I will reimburse you, better yet, come to me and we'll plot how we'd murder the useless bitch, I read Women's Murder Club and James Patterson books, so we'd never get caught. Coz if she's not sucking on your cock then I don't know what the fuck she plans to do with her life. 

Flowers, men, are key to a woman's vagina!