How to eat pussy like it's your last meal.

Pussy. Say it. Puh-see. God, it sounds so fucking beautiful, doesn’t it? Now, I’ve had a lot of girls come to me, frustrated and almost on the verge of crying because their partners don’t know how to eat pussy. I don’t blame men, it is complex, coz when you look at a vagina, it can get very intimidating. Like, “What the fuck is that? It’s opening, oh shit, it looks like it’s breathing and about to fucking eat my face. Oh god. It has a mouth.”

Maybe that’s just me, coz I’m a girl, I can’t speak for men, but I’m pretty sure men find it so fucking gorgeous, but are clueless on how to address it.

And I’ve had girl friends complain about not getting enough foreplay or haven’t experienced having their boyfriends eat their cunts. There can only be two reasons why.

One, they don’t know how to eat pussy, therefore are scared to deal with it and afraid they might just disappoint you or disappoint themselves. It’s an ego trip. Eating pussy. They’re scared they won’t be able to make you cum or lick you in the right places. Coz they’re very inexperienced. But they will never tell you they’re inexperienced. They’re men. They could be imbeciles when it comes to their ego.

Two, your pussy smells like rotten eggs and feet. And then there’s some type of cheese-texture, spoiled milk consistency coming out of it.

It only could be one of two. But most of the time it’s the first reason.

So, I’m gonna tell you how to eat that pussy right like it’s your last meal.

1. Tongue-work. Make sure your tongue is wet and you’ve brushed your teeth, coz the mouth is the number one place for bacteria to hive and it can get very irritated and itchy afterwards. So you have to make it a point to drink water or brush your teeth before doing some cuntwork. The vagina is the most vulnerable part of a woman’s body and more prone to infection and bacteria.

 They way you treat a pussy, varies. It’s never the same with two girls, one girl would want you to lick her clit sideways, in circular motion, up and down, with lots of pressure, with light pressure, it really depends. One girl could have her clit fully exposed right away, or you’d have to search for it in between her folds.

Me for instance, I like it when my boyfriend rubs my clit with the flat of his finger sideways, but I prefer for him to lick on my clit in an up and down flicking motion. If she rubs her clit at a certain way, it doesn’t mean it’s the same manner you should apply on licking her clit. It’s complicated. So pay attention to her body language. If she has her eyes closed, that means you’re doing it right.

            When licking her clit, the only part of you tongue you should use is the very tip of your tongue, just the very tip, if you want to make her cum within thirty seconds, but you’re very welcome to use the rest of it all over her cunt, but if you want to concentrate on her orgasm, just use the tip. Pull her pubic mound upwards as youre licking her clit to fully expose it, coz the clit is very much like the penis, it also has a foreskin, the hood as we call it. To get give her the fullest of sensation, push it back, not a lot fucker, just a little bit, just like how they do it in porn. Start slow, don’t just fucking flap your tongue immediately like it’s fucking chicken wing, you have to start slow, give it a taste, tease her while you’re looking at her eyes. Lick it like how your would lick on an ice cream, take slow dips, use the flat of your tongue to taste it, lick from her asshole up to her clit, that shit feels so fucking good. Fuck I’m getting horny. Ugh! Then when you feel her clit getting harder, that’s when you bring the speed up a notch and only use the tip of your tongue. Point your tongue, as in really fucking point it, make your tongue hard too. Otherwise it wouldn’t feel as good, yes it feels fucking good, but it’s different when your tongue is pointed.

            2. Put your finger inside her cunt while youre licking her clit. When you do that shit, you’re giving twice more pleasure than you can do with your cock. But make sure your finger is moist when finger-fucking her, otherwise it can feel sore and could result to lacerations. You don’t have to put the whole finger in, you can put just half and flicker it a few times, move it in unison with how you lick on her clit. Don’t be too hard, a lot of guys try to move it like it’s a fucking cock, don’t. that shit hurts, a cock is different from a finger.

            3. Suck on her clit. No asshole, not like how you would on a fucking escargot! Just soft nibbling and gentle sucking, like when you’re sipping through a straw, just like that.

            4. Don’t fucking slap on her clit like how you see in porn. Jesus, that fucking hurts, I don’t get why they do that. It fucking hurts man!!! Oh before I forget…

            How you rub your finger on a clit, is how you run your finger over a laptop’s trackpad or a touchscreen phone. Notice how gentle you have to be even on a fucking lifeless gadget?

            5. Fuck her pussy with your tongue. Oh my god, I can’t stress this enough. It’s like, fuck yes, stay there until you die.

            6. Lick her asshole. Yes. A lot of girls wouldn’t feel as open to that, but once she’s horny she’s not gonna say no. Lick her asshole, fuck her pussy with your finger, play with her clit. Can you do that shit? Once you’ve done that, you can now call yourself a man.

            7. Just get in there. Stuff your face in her pussy. Let her know that you love eating her pussy by really showing that youre enjoying it. Talk to her while youre at it. Tell her she tastes so fucking good and gnash or grind your teeth together when you say it. Tell her, her pussy tastes like heaven even if it tastes like shimp paste or an armpit. Tell her how much you love the feel of her clit on your tongue, tel her you want to eat her everyfuckingday, tell her its the best pussy in the world and youre a licky dumb fuck who fell in love with her! Mental arousal is the easiest way to a woman's orgasm. 

            8. Let her sit on your face if you’re quite inexperienced, that way, she can control it and gyrate, as she moves her hips forward and backward on your mouth. Oh and eat her pussy while she’s standing up, hitch her leg up the bed or a chair and then just fucking lick it like there’s no tomorrow. I don’t know why but standing up while my boyfriend eats my pussy gets me so fucking high, I’m pretty sure a lot of women would love that too.

            9. When she’s about to cum, don’t fucking stop licking. Even if she pushes your face away, don’t fucking stop even if she’s wriggling or squirming don’t fucking stop. DON’T. FUCKING. STOP. Understand?

            10. But! If she’s a squirter and you have you finger inside her pussy, pull it out, let her excrete all that juices, because if you don’t, all that juice is just gonna stay cooped  up insider her that her abdomen would hurt. Drink it, it’s quite sweet. It’s not piss I promise you. It has the same taste of juice in a canned corn kernel. Don’t fucking stop licking, just pull your finger out for fuck’s sakes.

            11. If she’s on her dry days, it’s gonna take a while for her to really get wet, so make sure she’s lubricated enough before you do anything.

          12. I know you watch a lot of porn, but don't just concentrate on the fucking, observe and what how the guy eats pussy, ho his tongue moves, his fingers, how many fingers, it usually just needs one, or two, but not fucking three! His rhythm, notice how fast, how slow, how steady and how he doesn't change his rhythm a lot and just stays in one rapid and steady motion. Try watching Samantha Saint's clips because the guys who fuck her usually look like theyre good at eating pussy right. You can learn a lot. 

            13. Press on her abdomen as she’s cumming, not too much, just put your hand over it and put a little pressure, it’ll bring her orgasm to an extensive height she would never want to come down from.

            See, that doesn’t seem so hard. Don’t be afraid of looking like a complete ignoramus because you don’t know how to eat pussy, it’s quite charming and flattering to your girlfriend once she finds out it’s gonna be your first time eating pussy, because that would mean to her that she’s special even if she’s not.

YAY! Eat her pussy and she’ll love you even more! Trust me. We need oral sex too as much as you need blowjobs. Once you do this more often and you do it real good, she’s going to sweeter and less nagging. And it’s one less girl running towards me to rant about how she never gets her pussy eaten.